I feel like I’m losing, A battle I’m not fighting. What is even going on, What am I losing at?

I yell hard, “Look Mom, no hands!”. Trying so hard to prove to her I’m doing fine on my own, Even better than she expected. But of course I’m riding the bike without hands, I can’t even feel my grip slipping If there are no handlebars to hold on to.

Rolling down the hill, Closing on to the edge of the cliff, I wanna jump, I want to slam on the breaks. But there is no break if there are no handlebars.

The wheels are spinning, There is no break for me, Best I can do is swing from side to side, To keep myself from falling and eating dirt.

I don’t know if I want to fall, Of the cliff or into the ground. Why do I even want to keep myself from falling on the ground, If I can’t even steer away from the cliff.

I feel like I’m losing, A battle I’m not fighting. The rush is keeping me in the moment, I can’t control my reflexes.

I think I want to fall, So I can rise back up, Walk, on my own to feet, And get back on the bike only when I’m ready.